With every laugh, the heart is cleansed.Leigh M. Leitner
Humor makes its way into every room for at least a minute a day, which is often enough to renew our hearts.
Still, I don’t ‘enjoy’ my children the way I once did. This doesn’t mean I don’t find them joyful or that I don’t love them. It means the challenge to hold their attention has evolved into a dynamic of attempting to pull it away from certain things, and wondering when and in what ways to let go. Although a parent is never ‘done’ parenting, there are a set of stages we must exit throughout our children’s lives if we want them to have confidence delivering their roles before the chosen audiences of their life.
I never expected my children to tear at the hidden fabric in my mind, or to inspire me to reinforce it through the sewing together of exhausted faith. I never expected anything from my children, except the opportunity to love them, and as I let go a little bit more each day, each month, and each year, their walk in the space of distance reinforces a closeness I feel privileged to hold.
Over the last few years I discovered it was impossible to go back and re-do some of the things I didn’t feel capable of doing when I was married and they were younger. There were things I believed they needed to learn but hadn’t been taught, but so focused was I on my beliefs that I didn’t take into account the things they needed to do but hadn’t seen. So a parent is always in a state of perpetual pivoting, aspiring not only to play the game, but to create lifelong dancers along the way.