part babble, part gratitude, part exhaustion, and part heaping sky full of love.
“i never though of it like that but it’s so true,” i said to myself with a smile.
i’d just finished reading a poem published by a friend and of course it was about love. it got me to thinking how he gets me to thinking, but more than that, it got me to feeling about things that i work real hard not to feel. i close my eyes sometimes just to draw a picture of him, placing him in places I’ve never been, hoping i picked somewhere lovely and warm, and that between my imaginings and his reality, life is good, even better that what my minds eye can conjure.
i’ll always want him, but more than that, always want what’s best for his heart. with all the energy he’s spent tryin’ to spin my perspective when it’s stuck staring behind me or in the dirt, i hope he knows his presence can’t be counted in milliseconds, nor can his impact be valued in these inefficient lines that run out of ways to color outside of a heart that’s inside of mine.
there’s this show about murderers on netflix, and i know that’s a horrible segue, but there’s a man that comes on, the second fella i think, and what he talks about somewhere in the 5-9 minute range really touched me and made me tear up right along with him. i longed for it as a kid, and then here comes along this friend after i’d gone and become a woman and all, just giving it to me outta nowhere, just freely, and with a spiritual knowing that i needed it.
so, this post probably makes little sense cause my minds all a blur, but the tears are here with the words just needing to flow. all I’m wanting to say without being short or eloquent, is that i just feel extra blessed for him, every lesson he’s taught and every creative embrace he’s fashioned, to inspire me with the idea that there’s always more to share, more to learn, and more to love.