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first date

first date

park and swings

are you kidding, he asked
nope, i answered

there we were at sunset
me wondering if he thought
i might be a pedophile
or psychologically stunted

what do you do for fun? he asked
this, i laughed – a little too loudly

high maintenance? he asked
high maintenance what? i asked back
are you high maintenance? he clarified

i laughed nervously, mainly in an attempt
to dismiss the questions in my mind that
showed up with his

probably, i answered
i wonder if there’s a point system to
honesty when dating? i thought

so you like nice things? he asked
wonder what he’s scared of, i thought

doesn’t everyone? i answered
i like lots of things but don’t believe
to need anything i don’t already have
i explained

i’m high maintenance emotionally, i continued
then stopped in regret

what’s that mean? he asked

i stopped swinging

means i’m often intense, more intense
than what a situation calls for. means
i’d be okay taking my clothes off and
having sex out here. means i could cry
at the sight of a flower petal or a weed.
means that without warning i could
look very different tomorrow than how
you see me today
, i explained

he stopped swinging

so you’d take your clothes off now? he asked

what an ass, i thought

would you? i asked

if you want me to, he answered

when’s the last time you cried? i asked

i dunno, maybe a year ago, he answered

i smiled but felt sad inside

i wouldn’t want you to, i answered

let’s just enjoy the park today, i said before
starting to swing again

okay, he answered while staring at
a beautiful woman walking by

even though there are a million choices in between, it’s better to be brutally honest than gently truthless.


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