maybe it backfired. i’m undecided. he doesn’t want to let me go.
— all i have is the past to compare it to.
perception suggests that people in our lives fit into distinct boxes;
— benefit, threat and insignificance
who do we attract and who attracts us?
— often all perception encompasses the three
and aspects unseen
he’s avoiding me yet making it clear he wants me to stay. the last time this happened i was pregnant and felt trapped. there’s no relationship; no baby this time round, yet i feel the same; the sensation of someone wanting to trap me with false promises.
instinct tells me to run but i’m home and don’t know where else to go. oddly, it brings to mind the sensation of lust, how i miss its overtures yet no longer remember what it felt like exactly. what i do remember is that it gave me clarity like none other. some would say it clouds the mind but for me the skies had cleared.
then again, if i followed instinct i wouldn’t be here at all.